….is sitting on my chest.

Graduation is in 20 days, and no one wants to talk about it. My roommates and I will all be doing different things, and leading totally separate lives come next fall, and no one will look and their cap and gown. Granted, 3 out of 4 of us are going to grad school for our master’s and have at least a year before the real world, but it still hurts. So instead of writing the several papers and lesson plan reflections that I’ve put off for too many weeks, I am writing this. I’m reflecting on the last 4 years of my life. I’m contemplating student teaching in the spring, and then having my own classroom. Where does time go, anyways? I feel like, at this rate, the next time I look up I will be in my 30’s with kids a husband, and a house. Is it too much to ask for time to slow down just a little?

factsofcollege:

I wanna put this on my brother’s wall

Tomorrow, as we all know, is Valentines Day. When you think of February 14, you probably think of mushy couples kissing in dimly lit restaurants. If you are one of those couples, you are probably ecstatic for your date tomorrow night where you will eat said dinner and exchange gifts. What I don’t think of on V-Day, generally, is non-romantic love. By this I mean familial love, and the love you have for your friends…taking that a step further though is the love of all people. I think that we forget to love everyone a little more on February 14, and that is probably when some people need it the most. A girl that I grew up with, and whose younger sister now goes to the same university as me, tried to commit suicide last night. I just found out a few minutes ago, and I’m struggling to work through these emotions. So I can’t even imagine how her family is coping. Her parents are as much a part of my family as my own blood, as they have come to all of our family reunions and get-togethers for as long as I can remember. We celebrate family weekend at school together, and I just don’t know what to say to her sister. 

Instead of wallowing in my singleness tomorrow as was my original intention, I am going to show everyone I interact with a little extra love. My challenge to whoever reads this is to do the same and reblog so that someone else may choose to as well. You never know whose life you will change with a small kind gesture. 

And for anyone who is contemplating suicide, don’t do it. I don’t know what your circumstances are, but you are loved by someone. If you need a stranger to talk to, just to listen or to read your story without judgement shoot me a message. I will listen. I will care, because you deserve someone who cares. 

My excitement level is quickly escalating as I finally know exactly what tattoo I want, and where I want it. My grandfather loved the Celtic hymn, “Lord of the Dance,” and we sang it at his funeral. So a girl I know drew a bird made entirely of musical symbols, because I’ve always wanted a music related tattoo, and above the wing I will have the line, “I am the Lord of the dance, said He.” Saying that I am excited or stoked would be a terrible understatement. Now all I need is money…any donors??